Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
