the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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