how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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