spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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