you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
