He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
