So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
