I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize