Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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