Christians are straight up FREAKS
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
