Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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