we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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