i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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