did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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