Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
