Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
