I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
