It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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