I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
