Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
