ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
