when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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