the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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