I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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