With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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