The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
