I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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