Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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