omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
