Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
