He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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