How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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