Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
