what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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