3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
