Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
