you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
