Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
