Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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