I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
