There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
