Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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