I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
