I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
