Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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