I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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