i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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