This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
