i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
