Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
