My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
