you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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