Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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